Sunday, September 18, 2011

Ramblings with maybe a few diamonds in the rough

Well...let's see what comes out after a year and a half away from my blog. Maybe this will be therapeutic (let's hope), or maybe it will just provide a helpful perspective to someone else who happens to stumble across my page. Either way I can't concentrate to work on the things I should be at the moment, so here I go!

Life in the past year has been amazing, crazy, hard, frustrating, fun, and sad. The older I get the more I realize how much life can toss one around. I was too prideful before. I thought I was smart enough to avoid self-inflicted pain (I don't mean physical), however, time and time again I've found myself in the same situations making the same choices. Basically, never put anyone on a just makes the fall that much harder.

I can't express how completely blessed I've felt to make amazing friends throughout my life. There are people I know I can count on for anything. Loyal friends (here in Flagstaff, but others that are only a phone call away) that have my back no matter what and love me through my stupidity. The spiritual friends who never leave my side, and will be there always bringing me back to what matters :). I truly believe that to have good friends one must be a good friend. And by the a friend to somebody you know could really use a good friend. Try and make friends with people that at first glance you may think wouldn't work out. Some of these people have turned out to be my closest friends.

FAMILY...I realize not everyone has had the best family life, but do the best to love the one you have. For better or worse they've shaped who you are to some extent (if it's not been for the best, perhaps it's worth the effort to try to shape them for the's never too late). All that being said, I've come to the realization over the past few years how important my family is to me. I made the move out west because something inside me longs to know what else there is , however, I've missed some major family moments during this time(there's nothing like moving thousands of miles away to make you realize how great the people you've left are). Sometimes stuff happens when words just aren't enough and that's when I've longed to be with my family the most, simply to stand beside them. I've been stuck with a great supportive, loving family who continues to be there for me. So if any of you read this...thank you a billion times over.

Relationships...I'm not getting any younger :) and I can't say I've ever had the pleasure of being someone's girlfriend (this can be a tough thing to swallow especially when you reach that age when it seems like EVERYONE has found who they're looking for), but I have had my fair share of dating experiences. Most have had their moments of fun soon to be followed by moments of frustrations and then sometimes sadness. I've tried dating the old fashioned way as well as the new age (online) way. Both come with there own problems but both have been fun. I encourage anyone to try the online way as long as you're safe about it (be picky too in this aspect because you can be...I learned you don't have to respond to everyone b/c they probably sent out 5 other messages before yours!, however give someone the benefit of the doubt that they really would like to get to know you). Something else I'd lost along the way and have hopefully a this point regained is that I know I deserve someone that sees me for who I am and appreciates and loves all I have to offer in a partnership. Certain people come into your life that you wish perhaps you could forget, but remember even in bad circumstances you have the choice to decide how it will shape you...please choose for the better. Also, never let the way someone else treats you influence the way you see yourself. Lastly, it can be hard but don't build walls, it's not fair to the next person and you may find yourself sabotaging a really good thing.

So, I've mainly talked about relationships here...side note is that life has also been stressful because I started my doctoral education for physical therapy. NAU has an amazing program and I daily find myself inspired by the faculty. Regardless, it's still gets to be a lot sometimes, but I absolutely know I will love what I will get to do after this. So remember that anything worth attaining is probably going to be difficult.

Some positive messages that keep me going (Some from me and some from others. I love a good quote.)

Continue to be open, positive, and loving to the people that walk in and out of your life; they need it :).

Sometimes it may feel good to be negative, but I bet 95% of the time you'll be glad you took the high road.

Never take for granted those who love you. Live in the present and let love abound all around you :) Don't focus on the petty things of life, they ultimately mean nothing. Be the light and joy to someone else's day. To me this is how life should be. LIVE.

Take time for self-reflection otherwise one day you'll realize life is passing you by and you don't even know where it went. Find out what resonates with your soul and use it for a better purpose.

"One can only see clearly with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye." -The Little Prince

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.”- Albert Pine

A god small enough to understand is not big enough to worship. -unkown

"If from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul." -Deuteronomy 4:29

Well if you made it this far, hopefully something I've said has resonated with you. If not I do believe this was therapeutic and helped me procrastinate a bit longer :).

Bye for now :) (haha it may take me another 15 months to remember that sometimes I like writing)

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